


Learning to Feel

by diggingupophelia (containedmultitudes)



Category: Southern Vampire Mysteries - Charlaine Harris, True Blood
Genre: F/M, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-10-11
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 20:07:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1562432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/containedmultitudes/pseuds/diggingupophelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric turns Sookie. Sookie gets used to life as vampire. </p><p>AU after Book 7</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>  I'm still feeling my way in this fandom. This is just something that popped into my head.

Title: Learning to Feel  
Summary: Eric turns Sookie and finds that he changes, too.  
Notes: I'm still feeling my way in this fandom. This is just something that popped into my head.  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: > 1000

Author: sapphiretragedy/diggingupophelia/containedmultitudes

When Sookie opened her eyes, Eric's arms were wrapped around her. He squeezed her reflexively when she jerked. There was nothing unusual about that in and of itself. However, the weight pressing down on her, making everything dark and the instinctive urge to claw her way upward were unusual.

She tried to speak, to call out to Eric, but dirt filled her mouth and she started to claw. Eric's hands pushed her, helping her along, and she clawed and she clawed, and just before her hands broke the surface, and strong, female hands grabbed her writs to pull her while Eric pushed her, she understood that things had changed, that she had been turned.

And, when she got to the surface, the first thing she did after she spit out the dirt that had gotten into her mouth was to scream at Eric, "What the fuck did you do?"

"I told you she'd be ungrateful," Pam said, a smile upon her lips.

Eric glared at his eldest Child. "Get the TrueBlood, Pam." He returned his attention to Sookie. "I did what was necessary."

Sookie spit again. The taste of the dirt was making her stomach churn; which was amplified by the gnawing hunger she felt. "First thing in the morning, I'm meeting the dawn," she said, defiance heavy in her voice.

Eric laughed. "You'll do no such thing. I won't allow it, lover. And, you'll find that now, more than ever, you'll feel compelled to obey me. As your Maker, I command you to retire the second you feel the pull of dawn. You will not destroy my finest creation over your obsolete human desires. Do you understand?"

Sookie glared at him defiantly. She was surprised to feel him through the bond. They had shared many hypothetical discussions about what would happen to the bond if she were turned. And, it seemed he was right and that it was not only intact, but stronger than ever. Now, she could feel his panic, which was not showing on his face, at the thought of losing her when he'd just risked everything to keep her. "Why?" she asked.

"Because the alternative was to lose you," he whispered.

"And because I couldn't stand to watch him mope for a century over your pitiful human existence," Pam said. She held two bottles of TrueBlood in her hand. "Here," she held one out, "O negative. It's my favorite. If you don't like it, I have other varieties."

Sookie took the proffered blood, twisted off the cap and downed the entire bottle in greedy gulps. She felt the luke warm substance drip down her chin and seep into the collar of her dress, but she didn't care. It made her feel full. It was only when she stopped drinking and tossed the bottle on the ground that she tasted it. "Oh, that's awful," she said. "It's too ..." she searched for the word, unable to find it.

"Metallic," Eric supplied. "Human blood, real human blood, is better. I have fangbangers who would fall over themselves to let you drink from them."

Sookie wiped the sticky, synthetic blood from her chin. "It smells awful," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Eric, you didn't answer my question."

Eric held out a hand to help her up. "I did."

"What happened?" she asked. Sookie searched her memory. The last thing she remembered was darkness. There was nothing before she'd awakened with Eric's arms around her and the weight of dirt pressing down upon her. "I can't remember. Is that normal?" She took Eric's hand and stood up. She brushed the dirt from her clothes in an effort to look presentable. "Well?" Sookie pushed.

"Yes," he said. "It will pass soon and you will remember. It is often this way when the turn was," he paused, "traumatic."

And when he said the word traumatic, images and feelings washed over her in waves causing her to fall to her knees. Her throat constricted and she felt like she was suffocating, though instinctually, she knew it was impossible. She remembered fire, Fangtasia burning - the stench of burning flesh rising into her nostrils as she choked on smoke and ash in the air. And then, the pain - oh, the unbearable pain of her flesh sizzling and melting and ... suddenly, stepping out into the sun was the last thing she wanted to do. The memory of her burning so fresh in her mind; though, it wasn't something she'd be likely to forget. Ever.

Sookie felt her body burn. And she screamed through the pain.

She felt a cool, soothing hand on her back. In that one space, there was no pain. "Sookie," Eric's voice was calm and level. Just as it had been when he found her burned body in the middle of the rubble, barely breathing and begging, please, please, please - though, even now she wasn't sure if she was begging for life or death. "Listen to me, Sookie. You're safe now. There's no more fire. No more pain. It's all right. You're safe."

And she focused on the bond to see if he was telling the truth. He was.

"I," she turned and wrapped her arms around Eric's neck. "I can't promise I won't be mad about this as soon as I'm not in shock."

Eric laughed. "I would expect nothing less. I wouldn't have done it - but, you were begging."

There was a shred of truth in that, Sookie knew. But, he had been trying to convince her for a year and he had seen his chance and he was a creature of opportunity.

"Can I go now?" Pam asked. "This public display, while touching to someone, is making me nauseous."

Eric waved her away. "Thank you for your help. Do not call me unless there is something you cannot handle on your own. Sookie and I have much to discuss."

Neither Eric nor Sookie spoke until Pam was gone and they were both alone.

"I never wanted this," Sookie said. And, when Eric looked he saw that her face was stained with bloody tears.

"I can't say I'm sorry," Eric said.

"I never wanted this," she repeated. But, this time she turned toward him, and despite her bloody tears, he could see that bright smile that he loved so much. "But, I think I am going to be grateful you did it." She paused. "When I'm finished being angry that you defied me." Anger rose in her voice with each word.

Eric gripped her by the shoulders and forced her to look into his eyes. "You begged me, Sookie." He paused. "I asked and you begged."

"A stronger man would have let me die."

"Then, for once in my life, I am grateful I have one weakness." He leaned down and kissed her. "You."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  Sookie feeds and the mystery of the fire at Fangtasia gets more twisted.

Title: Learning to Feel  
Summary: Eric turns Sookie and finds that he changes, too.  
Notes: I'm still feeling my way in this fandom. This is just something that popped into my head.  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: > 1000

Author: sapphiretragedy/diggingupophelia/containedmultitudes

When Sookie opened her eyes, Eric's arms were wrapped around her. He squeezed her reflexively when she jerked. There was nothing unusual about that in and of itself. However, the weight pressing down on her, making everything dark and the instinctive urge to claw her way upward were unusual.

She tried to speak, to call out to Eric, but dirt filled her mouth and she started to claw. Eric's hands pushed her, helping her along, and she clawed and she clawed, and just before her hands broke the surface, and strong, female hands grabbed her writs to pull her while Eric pushed her, she understood that things had changed, that she had been turned.

And, when she got to the surface, the first thing she did after she spit out the dirt that had gotten into her mouth was to scream at Eric, "What the fuck did you do?"

"I told you she'd be ungrateful," Pam said, a smile upon her lips.

Eric glared at his eldest Child. "Get the TrueBlood, Pam." He returned his attention to Sookie. "I did what was necessary."

Sookie spit again. The taste of the dirt was making her stomach churn; which was amplified by the gnawing hunger she felt. "First thing in the morning, I'm meeting the dawn," she said, defiance heavy in her voice.

Eric laughed. "You'll do no such thing. I won't allow it, lover. And, you'll find that now, more than ever, you'll feel compelled to obey me. As your Maker, I command you to retire the second you feel the pull of dawn. You will not destroy my finest creation over your obsolete human desires. Do you understand?"

Sookie glared at him defiantly. She was surprised to feel him through the bond. They had shared many hypothetical discussions about what would happen to the bond if she were turned. And, it seemed he was right and that it was not only intact, but stronger than ever. Now, she could feel his panic, which was not showing on his face, at the thought of losing her when he'd just risked everything to keep her. "Why?" she asked.

"Because the alternative was to lose you," he whispered.

"And because I couldn't stand to watch him mope for a century over your pitiful human existence," Pam said. She held two bottles of TrueBlood in her hand. "Here," she held one out, "O negative. It's my favorite. If you don't like it, I have other varieties."

Sookie took the proffered blood, twisted off the cap and downed the entire bottle in greedy gulps. She felt the luke warm substance drip down her chin and seep into the collar of her dress, but she didn't care. It made her feel full. It was only when she stopped drinking and tossed the bottle on the ground that she tasted it. "Oh, that's awful," she said. "It's too ..." she searched for the word, unable to find it.

"Metallic," Eric supplied. "Human blood, real human blood, is better. I have fangbangers who would fall over themselves to let you drink from them."

Sookie wiped the sticky, synthetic blood from her chin. "It smells awful," she said, wrinkling her nose. "Eric, you didn't answer my question."

Eric held out a hand to help her up. "I did."

"What happened?" she asked. Sookie searched her memory. The last thing she remembered was darkness. There was nothing before she'd awakened with Eric's arms around her and the weight of dirt pressing down upon her. "I can't remember. Is that normal?" She took Eric's hand and stood up. She brushed the dirt from her clothes in an effort to look presentable. "Well?" Sookie pushed.

"Yes," he said. "It will pass soon and you will remember. It is often this way when the turn was," he paused, "traumatic."

And when he said the word traumatic, images and feelings washed over her in waves causing her to fall to her knees. Her throat constricted and she felt like she was suffocating, though instinctually, she knew it was impossible. She remembered fire, Fangtasia burning - the stench of burning flesh rising into her nostrils as she choked on smoke and ash in the air. And then, the pain - oh, the unbearable pain of her flesh sizzling and melting and ... suddenly, stepping out into the sun was the last thing she wanted to do. The memory of her burning so fresh in her mind; though, it wasn't something she'd be likely to forget. Ever.

Sookie felt her body burn. And she screamed through the pain.

She felt a cool, soothing hand on her back. In that one space, there was no pain. "Sookie," Eric's voice was calm and level. Just as it had been when he found her burned body in the middle of the rubble, barely breathing and begging, please, please, please - though, even now she wasn't sure if she was begging for life or death. "Listen to me, Sookie. You're safe now. There's no more fire. No more pain. It's all right. You're safe."

And she focused on the bond to see if he was telling the truth. He was.

"I," she turned and wrapped her arms around Eric's neck. "I can't promise I won't be mad about this as soon as I'm not in shock."

Eric laughed. "I would expect nothing less. I wouldn't have done it - but, you were begging."

There was a shred of truth in that, Sookie knew. But, he had been trying to convince her for a year and he had seen his chance and he was a creature of opportunity.

"Can I go now?" Pam asked. "This public display, while touching to someone, is making me nauseous."

Eric waved her away. "Thank you for your help. Do not call me unless there is something you cannot handle on your own. Sookie and I have much to discuss."

Neither Eric nor Sookie spoke until Pam was gone and they were both alone.

"I never wanted this," Sookie said. And, when Eric looked he saw that her face was stained with bloody tears.

"I can't say I'm sorry," Eric said.

"I never wanted this," she repeated. But, this time she turned toward him, and despite her bloody tears, he could see that bright smile that he loved so much. "But, I think I am going to be grateful you did it." She paused. "When I'm finished being angry that you defied me." Anger rose in her voice with each word.

Eric gripped her by the shoulders and forced her to look into his eyes. "You begged me, Sookie." He paused. "I asked and you begged."

"A stronger man would have let me die."

"Then, for once in my life, I am grateful I have one weakness." He leaned down and kissed her. "You."


	3.  Learning to Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  Sookie starts to embrace her inner vampire and finds out she's not as safe as she thought.

Sookie did not awaken before the dawn. He took a moment to privately gloat that her defiance had been squelched, even if she couldn't see it. "So much for meeting the sun, lover," he said, lifting her from the couch.

He carried her into his light tight sleeping room, in the deepest depths of his home, and placed her in his bed.

As he waited for the pull of dawn to pull him into his rest, he tried to calculate Sookie's reaction when she realized what she had done and he wondered just what that fucking ball of light that had erupted from every pore of her body had been.

~*~

Eric woke before Sookie. He had a bottle of TruBlood open and waiting for her. He was sipping at one himself; he still thought it was a foul tasking substance, but it took the edge off of his hunger and let him think.

Sookie snapped her eyes open. "Eric," she said. "I had the worst dream," she rubbed her eyes and turned over in the bed, pulling the comforter over her shoulders. "You turned me - and then I hurt a young man ... Elliot."

"Sookie," he said gently, "that is not a dream. It all happened. Now sit up and drink this before we have a repeat of last night on our hands."

Sookie shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"Lies won't help now. If you don't eat," he quirked an eyebrow at her, letting the sentence hang.

Sookie reluctantly took the TruBlood and sipped at it. It took great effort for her to pull it away from her lips as she attempted restraint.

"The restraint will come in time. It's my fault," he said.

"Damn right it is," she snapped. "If you had had the courage to let me die, then Elliot wouldn't be ... I wouldn't be responsible."

"I failed you," he said, his voice full of resolve."What happened is not your fault. Do you understand that?"

And then Sookie cried. That had been expected; he had braced himself for the bloody tears that were wending their way down her cheeks. However, he had not been prepared for his own tears. He saw that he had broken her; it was different when the pain and harm was unintentional, he reasoned. He had always taken calculated hits at people - using words as weapons, using weapons as weapons, or causing financial ruin. But those times were different - he wanted others to suffer. He did not want Sookie to suffer.

"Yes," she spat, "it is." She swiped angrily at her tears, wiping her bloody hands on Eric's expensive sheets. "If you hadn't been such a fucking coward, then I wouldn't have hurt someone. You promised me."

Eric couldn't so much as balk at the accusation. It was all true. It was his fault.

"Now," she continued, "I have to live the the consequences of your cowardice forever." She got up from the bed and turned her back on Eric. "Or, until I grow to hate myself so much that I go to meet the sun?"

"Do not speak of meeting the sun again," Eric snapped. His pain over Godric's loss was still very great, very fresh. "I have already warned you about using words you do not understand."

Sookie narrowed his eyes at him. "I don't want to speak to you." 

"You have to do as I command, no matter how angry you are," Eric said, clinging to the only connection he had Sookie at this moment. "No matter how awful this moment is, I will not release you."

"I will never forgive you for breaking your promise," Sookie said.

"Even if it is what he wanted? Even if this was something he would have chosen for himself?"

Sookie faltered for a moment. Her anger softened as she thought through the implications of the question. "It doesn't change the fact that you lied to me."

Eric sighed. "It wasn't so much lying as ... underestimating what it was that you're capable of."

"What are you talking about?" Sookie said.

"When Pam and I tried to pull you off of the human, you shocked us with a ball of energy. Not unlike what you described doing to the maenad."

Sookie sat down on the edge of the bed, subdued. "I'm a menace," she said. "You have to keep me away from all humans."

Eric shook his head. "That's a bit extreme," he said. "I think, for now, we'll stick to letting you drink blood from a glass. It's undignified and cold, but it's only until we figure out what the hell you did and how to control it."

~*~

Sookie was grateful that Eric left her alone. He had gotten dressed, cleared the empty TruBlood bottles from his room and had left her. The only thing he said as he left was that they would talk later.

Sookie wasn't sure how long she had been alone, lost in her thoughts, trying to fill in the blank space that was her frenzied attack on Elliot, when a knock interrupted her ruminating. "Come in," she called, knowing full well it wasn't Eric because he never would have knocked.

"You look like shit," Pam said, presumably by way of greeting. She tossed a sundress Sookie recognized as one of her own onto the bed. "You need to shower, change and get dressed. Then, when you're done, I'm to make sure you eat."

"I'm fine," Sookie insisted. "You can tell Eric that, right after you tell him to fuck off."

Pam laughed. "No one tells Eric to fuck off, Sookie. Not even you."

Sookie snapped her head into Pam's direction. She knew it was still covered in streaks of blood because she had been crying steadily since Eric had admitted wrong and left. "And what makes me so special?"

"Well, for starters, that light show you put on last night was pretty impressive," Pam said, sitting next to Sookie on the bed. "Then, there's the fact that you can read vampire minds."

"No I can't," Sookie insisted. "There's only blank space."

Oh, really? Pam thought. You need to let this go. No harm came to Elliot. He's quite excited to be vampire.

"The change of subject isn't helping me feel better."

"Sookie, I didn't say a word," Pam said. "There's a lot you need to get used to. The first thing is that these urges are natural. And, you're vampire, Sookie. Humans sometimes die and we move on."

"Go tell Eric this talk didn't make me feel better." It was a low blow, Sookie knew that; but, she couldn't wrap her mind around what Pam was saying, couldn't get a grip on her emotions and couldn't understand how she was suddenly all powerful -- she never thought she would long for the days when she was simply Crazy Sookie Stackhouse.

"Eric did not send me. Elliot asked to come. He's just awakened and he wants to speak with you. I thought you might not want to look like shit when you meet with him. The message from Eric was a bonus."

"Elliot's here? He's ..."

"Entirely too happy to be vampire. But, as his Maker, it's my duty to make sure he gets what he needs."

"You?" Sookie asked, shocked.

"Yes, me." Pam stood up from the bed and moved tho the door before Sookie realized what was happening. "Now, shower and get dressed. I want to make sure the blood is warm - it's bad enough you're insisting on a glass." Pam sighed. "You have to trust yourself."  
   
Sookie didn't move. "I don't want to see him," she said, not sure if she meant Elliot or Eric.

Pam put a hand on Sookie's shoulder. It was stiff and awkward, and Sookie felt alienated, rather than comforted by the gesture. "It helps if you remember that you are vampire. Humans are food to us. Despite what all the mainstreaming vamps have to say, we're predators. Embrace it, revel in it, and do not be ashamed of it."

Sookie snorted. "You sound like Eric," she said.

"I'll take that as the compliment for which it was not intended." There was a pause. "He's a good Maker, Sookie. I've seen so many abuse the power - but he does not. He wants to cultivate vampires, make them the best they can be. And, he loves you. Do you know how long it has been since he has allowed himself to care for anyone besides himself? I have never seen him like this, and the last person he spoke about caring for was Godric. And we all know how that ended for them both. So, quit feeling sorry for yourself, hell, quit feeling at all for a while, and learn to embrace this chance he's given you. Because if you fuck this up, there won't be another one."

And with that, Pam left the room. Sookie thought about what she said for a while, she wasn't sure how long, and then collected her dress and went into the bathroom to shower.

When she was finally dressed and presentable, she was still upset at herself, at Eric, at Pam --- a whole host of people, really; but, some part of what Pam had said was right.

~*~

Eric was in his office, checking e mail and making himself look busy as he thought about Sookie. He couldn't recall the last time he had been so distracted. He clicked through the pages of congratulatory e mails regarding Sookie's transformation with detachment. It was a hollow victory, indeed.

"Knock, knock," Pam said, entering the office. She sat down in her customary chair at the side of Eric's desk. "She's sulking," Pam reported. "I gave her that same speech you gave me when I refused to kill the prostitute you bought for me because I was afraid of Hell. It got her into the shower; I'm sure it won't make her embrace her vampire self, though."

Eric gave a half shrug. "You never could deliver that line the way I can," he said. "But, it's a start. Was she still crying?"

Pam nodded. "She still views the world with that same sense of urgency all humans do. It will fade."

"I know that. But, I can't stand her looking at me with those tears down her face and pain reflecting in her eyes. I was ready for the onslaught of anger. I was ready for her to pull away for a short while. I was not ready to make her betray herself because I failed her."

"Eric," Pam said, harshly. "How the fuck were you supposed to know that turning her would magnify her faerie powers? No one could have known, except Naill, maybe, and I doubt he would have shared that information. She clearly felt threatened and that was her response. It's hardly your fault."

"I should have factored that in," Eric started.

"Oh, stop. You've been hanging around humans too long; it's making you soft."

There was a tense silence. Eric needed to hear those words, he knew that; but, they stung coming from his Child. "How is Elliot?"

"Hungry and horny."

"Normal, then. Is Sookie going to meet with him?"

"I don't know," Pam said, honestly. "Elliot really doesn't care why he's vampire, he's just elated that he is. Maybe his attitude will rub off on Sookie."

Eric cleared his throat. "We were interrupted yesterday when you told me of the fire. How do you know Victor is working with the Fellowship?"

"Bill." There was only one Bill which either of them would speak of.

"And, how does he know that?"

"That's the interesting part, he never actually said. But, he's been tracking Madden since he got wind that Sookie was a target."

Eric shook his head. "That means either Victor is acting on his own, or worse, he's working on De Castro's orders. Either way, this is not going to end well for either of them."

Pam nodded in agreement. She started to say something else, but Eric held up a hand to stop her. "Do not even think about this. Sookie does not need this on her head. And, until we know what's going on this stays between us."

"That little gift has gone from useful to inconvenient in a hurry," Pam groused.

"We all need to get used to it," Eric said. "She's coming."

~*~

Sookie only decided to leave the room because if she didn't someone else would come and get her. She was certainly not in the mood for another lecture of any kind. She went up to Eric's office, surprised that she was able to navigate her way around the home so easily. She could hear hushed whispers, but could not make out what Eric and Pam were talking about, but she was sure it was about her.

She knocked at the door. "Hi," she said.

Eric was sitting at his desk. He looked for all the world deep in thought. Something was up, she knew, because he was wearing his strategizing look. "Hi," Eric said, tightly. "Feeling better?"

Sookie shrugged. "I'm still mad"

"That's expected," Eric said.

"Good, because I don't know how long it's going to last." Sookie sat down in the empty chair across from Eric's desk. "Hi, Pam," she said.

Pam nodded her head by way of greeting.

"Glad to see you two are getting along." He snapped the lid of his laptop shut. "You must be hungry," Eric said, conversationally. He could feel her discomfort and the weight of her desire through the bond. So, when she shook her head to lie to him, a wave of intense anger washed over him. Suddenly, it was not his lover, Sookie Stackhouse sitting in front of him; no, in her place was a spoilt brat who did not understand the chance she had been given.

Whether Sookie had blocked out his emotion or chose to ignore it, he did not know. But, when she did not even acknowledge his anger, his ire rose even more. "Sookie?" he said, keeping his voice calm and level despite his emotions to the contrary.

"I said I'm fine," she lied again. She then wrapped her arms around herself and turned her eyes away from Eric's.

He drummed his fingers on the closed lid of his computer. "You are aware that the blood substitute the humans force upon us will only nourish you, it will not take away that hunger. And it is that very desire, that drive that makes you so dangerous." He paused, looking down at his nails, then pointedly at her.

"Well, since I've already crossed that particular bridge, I don't see why it's a concern any longer," Sookie snapped in retort.

"Sookie!" Pam exclaimed, scandalized. "That is no way to speak to your Maker. He deserves your utmost respect."

Eric did not look at Pam, instead keeping his gaze trained on Sookie. But, he held up a hand and she stopped speaking immediately. "Pam, leave it."

"Eric, I feel a responsibility to you to say something to her," Pam argued.

Eric then diverted his gaze from Sookie and shifted it to Pam. "I understand how you feel," he said, thinking of his devotion to Godric. "But, now I am telling you to go tend to your child and leave me to tend to mine."

Pam recoiled as if she had been slapped. "Fine," she said, tersely. "I'll go to Elliot. We'll be in the library." She glared at Sookie as she left, Eric hoped she was thinking pleasant thoughts, because provoking Sookie would just make things worse than they needed to be in this moment.

Eric did not speak until Pam left the room. She shut the door behind her with a loud bang that voiced her displeasure at being asked to leave. Eric made a mental not to have a frank discussion with her about her place in the relationship between himself and Sookie -- which was to say, she did as she was told where Sookie was concerned, as in all other situations. He kept his voice quiet. "I will not punish you because I am feeling generous, and because I understand that you have suffered a traumatic experience. It is my right, as your Maker, to decide these things. I will not exercise that power over you Sookie because I respect you and because the nature of our relationship makes it inconvenient to do so."

He then stood up and walked around his desk to loom right over Sookie.

Sookie stared him right in the eye. "How big of you not to punish me for something that is your fault," she said, sarcasm heavy in her voice.

Eric smiled and bent down. "You chose to drink."

Sookie's eyes widened. He could feel her shock and felt as though he won a point. Obviously, she had not thought of her complacency in the situation. He thought for sure it would shut her up and help her see reason. He was not prepared for her logical response. "You knew how I felt about being turned," she started. Her voice was much more calm and level that it had been a moment ago. "We talked about it more than once. And you promised, that no matter what, when the time came you would let me go. That time came and you broke your word."

"You begged me," he protested. Though, he knew that even if she hadn't begged, that if she had clamped her mouth shut and refused to drink willingly, that he would have done everything in his power and more to turn her, to keep her just a little longer, even if she would resent him until his final death came.

"Let me ask you this: What dying creature, when offered a second chance, wouldn't clamp her lips to your wrist and suck back the blood, despite her principles? Why did you ask? You knew the answer."

Eric sighed. "I asked you because if there was a chance you would say yes, I would take it. You knew what devil you were dealing with." He softened his features. Clearly, playing the stern paternal figure was not getting at Sookie. "And, I would also like to clarify that it is not my fault that I did not predict how your fae powers would magnify when you were turned. It was those variables, not what you call my cowardice, or weakness," he spat those words back at her, "that caused you to behave as you did last night."

"You knew how I would feel about this," Sookie yelled.

Eric snarled. "You will not take that tone with me, Child."

"Release me," Sookie demanded. "Release me now and let me meet the sun, because I will not be your lapdog. Maker, or not, I am not your property, Eric Northman." And she crossed her hands over her chest and raised her chin to him defiantly.

Eric felt his anger ebb away slightly at the admonishment. He was being stupid, trying to strong arm her into doing as he wished. He knew better than that; Sookie Stackhouse was a woman that required finessing. She was much more likely to cooperate when she felt things were her idea. Clearly, he was at the disadvantage here because he did technically break a promise to her. But, he was not prepared to back down. Not yet. She needed to feed. "I will grant you freedoms as you demonstrate your ability to handle them."

Sookie narrowed her eyes at Eric. "You cannot treat me like you own me."

"I am afraid that you will find that I can. I can do whatever I want to you, with you." He paused and deliberately softened his features. "But I will not treat you with such disrespect. I have not done that to one of my charges as long as I've been involved in raising young vampires. I will never treat you badly." He added, "Unless you cross me with intent to kill."

"You keep taking away my choices," Sookie said.

"I have given you the chance to make more choices that you can imagine," Eric explained. "Now," he held out a hand to her, "you have a choice to make. come with me and feed voluntarily, or be held down and force fed because I will not allow you to become a danger or waste away."

"I told you I'm not hungry," Sookie said. "I choose to sit here."

Eric gave a wry laugh. "You cannot lie to me; it's a physical impossibility." He inclined his head toward her and spoke softly. "If you don't get up right now, on your own, you are making the choice to allow me to take control of the situation. You are not being rational and you are deliberately trying to hurt yourself. I will not allow your self pity to cause you to harm yourself."

Sookie planted herself firmly on the couch and stared at Eric in challenge.

Eric nodded his head. "Very well." He bent down quickly and scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder in a graceful gesture. "I will not let you weaken yourself. At this stage of your transformation process, you need to indulge your urges so that you learn to control them. I know you're stubborn, but your stubborn nature is not going to help you here. You will have one more chance to do this on your own. If you still choose to resist me, then you will force me to make you feed."

Sookie put up a struggle. She kicked and twisted and made groaning noises in his arms. Eric was glad that she had not fed, because she did not know her own strength and she could have hurt him. She started in, pinching and scratching, and he half thought she would bite him - he was pleased that she did not.

"Put me down, you big, stupid Viking," Sookie said.

Eric said nothing. He merely let her carry on with her childish display. He merely carried her downstairs to the library where it seemed Pam and Elliot were embroiled in a game of chess. Eric did not put Sookie down as he spoke. "Did he feed?" he said, indicating Elliot.

"Yes, he did feed," Elliot said, speaking up for himself.

Eric ignored Elliot. "Pam, control him." Normally, Eric would not have minded the intrusion of the new vampire. He would have found the spunk entertaining; but, Sookie's defiance was driving him beyond annoyance.

Elliot looked over at Pam and bowed his head respectfully. "Sorry, sir," Elliot said.

Eric nodded. "Sookie needs to feed," he said to Pam.

"Dinner's through that door. There are several choices. I'm sure she'll find something she likes," Pam said, picking up a pawn and analyzing the possible moves she could make.

"One way or another," Eric said. He planted Sookie's feet firmly on the ground. "I will not ask you to feed directly from the human. But, will you drink from a glass?"

Sookie nodded. Eric grabbed a glass from the table near the door.

He took her by the hand and led her through the doors into the den that was next to the library. Inside, he found, a group of humans drinking and playing strip poker. He recognized a few as Fangtasia regulars, but he couldn't name them if his life depended on it. He turned to Sookie, whose fangs had extended, and said, "Choose one."

Sookie held on to Eric, using him for balance or grounding or whatever it was, as she took in the scents of blood around her. She pointed to a young woman with long, curly black hair and porcelain skin. Eric reached out and touched her on the shoulder. He was pleased to see that she was wearing only a bra and panties - it made things more interesting to him. He had an active imagination and he liked the possibilities of Sookie and this woman. His own fangs extended, but it was not from hunger. "You," he said. The girl walked forward and smiled.

"I was hoping you'd finally choose me," she said. She glanced at Sookie dismissively. "I'm better than whatever that is."

"I doubt that," Eric said, reaching for her wrist. "And, I'm not the one who wants you." He pulled her wrist to his mouth and ripped the flesh so it would drain. The girl cried out in pain, but Eric kept coaxing the blood into the glass until it was three quarters full. Then, he liked the girl's wound and told her to "Return to your game."

He put the goblet in Sookie's hands. "You drink this before it gets cold."

He was stunned, positively stunned, when Sookie put the glass to her lips and took a deep, greedy gulp. He was certain she was going to throw it in his face just to see how he would react. She downed the blood. "You didn't spill a drop," he said, taking the glass she held out to him.

"More," she said. "Please."

"You're in a better mood he said," as he beckoned the same girl with his fingers. She came running, as any dutiful fangbanger would.

Eric got Sookie her blood and then fed from the girl as a thank you for her services. He knew it wasn't pleasant to be drained that way.

After Sookie drank her third glass of blood, something changed in her. It wasn't a bad change. She looked at him, a smudge of blood in the corner of her mouth, "I need you to teach me to stop feeling so ... human," she said.

"I can do that," he said. "But, I don't want to." He liked her quaint humanity.

"Then, teach me to embrace my inner vampire," she said, holding out the glass to him for more.

~*~

Sookie sat at a table off to the side of the room, glass of blood in hand, while Eric and Pam spoke in another room. She hadn't quite been able to work up the courage to talk to Elliot, and he hadn't made the first move to talk with her either. But, he kept tossing surreptitious glances her way as he pretended to study the chess board.

Sookie sipped at her blood, savoring the texture and the taste as it washed over her tongue. It was easy to savor it when she wasn't driven by her urges, as Eric called them.

"Do you really like drinking it from a glass?" Elliot asked, breaking the silence between them, finally.

Sookie was on the verge of reading his mind, so she was glad that he spoke up. She thought it was a violation of his privacy, and since it was the one thing she seemed to be able to control with relative ease, she was loathe to breach that trust if she didn't need to.

Sookie shrugged. "No one gets hurt this way."

Elliot pushed out his seat and moved to the big, squashy chair that was adjacent to table Sookie sat at. "Pam told me that you're upset about what happened," he began. "But, you can see, that I'm not. I was hoping to be turned -- eventually. It just happened much earlier than I thought it would."

"I nearly killed you," Sookie clarified. "I wasn't going to turn you, I was - I enjoyed bringing you to the point of death. I only stopped because," she paused and thought about that moment. "I'm not even sure why I stopped. I just knew that if I kept drinking until your heart stopped that it wouldn't be as nice for me."

Elliot smiled. His fangs distended. "It was exhilarating to have you feed on me! I just felt freedom, and when your fangs punctured my neck - it was heaven, Sookie."

"Elliot, I had to force you to tell me your name. I was angry because you were thinking rude thoughts."

Elliot shrugged. "It was stupid of me to do something like that in front of a vampire." He leaned back lazily in his chair. "That blood your drinking smells wonderful. Who was it?"

"Don't get any ideas. Eric and Pam told us to stay away. They can't afford any more accidents," she said, dryly. She held out her half full glass to him. "It's still warm. If you want it, drink it."

Elliot wrinkled his nose at the glass. Then, he extended his fangs again. He ran his tongue over his newest appendage. "I like to use these to feed."

"So do I," Sookie admitted, wistfully. Too bad her only experience had ended with Elliot nearly dying and having to be turned.

"What's that I heard, lover?" Eric said as he entered the room. "Did I hear you say that you liked feeding?"

"Yes," she said, sassily. "I did. But that doesn't mean I'm through being mad at you."

"Sookie," Elliot whispered. "You shouldn't speak to him that way - he's got a temper."

Eric laughed, a low, growling belly laugh. "Is that what Pam told you?" He smiled. "Well, she's right, I do have a temper. But, I'm afraid our first introduction took place when I was ," he glanced at Sookie, "occupied."

Elliot stared in awe. "I can speak to you?"

"Until you say something stupid which makes you less interesting to me, yes."

"Eric, can't you be nice to him?" Sookie asked. "First, he's a guest in our home. And second, I nearly killed him." She sighed. "And I'm afraid I'm not a very good hostess, Elliot's hungry and I don't even know where you keep the TruBlood."

"I am being nice," Eric said. "I haven't driven a stake through his heart for speaking to you without my permission, as is my right."

"Now, now Eric," Pam said as she entered the room. "Sookie's right. You need to be kind to him. He's family, after all - part of the nest." She snapped her fingers and Elliot stood up from his chair. Pam sat down in his spot. "And," she smiled, "he's training up nicely. And, this is only the first night."

Eric smiled, looking for all the world like a proud father. "Pam, take you Child to feed. Sookie and I need to speak." Sookie made a huffing noise, she was irritated because Eric was effectively ending her conversation before she was ready. "That is, if Sookie is finished making her peace."

"I guess we're fine for now," she said.

Pam stood up and led Elliot into the room where the fangbangers were still holed up. Sookie didn't even want to think about what they were doing at that moment.

"I'm still upset with you," Sookie said, with no venom at all. "And I can't control my emotions."

"All normal," Eric said dismissively. "We have more important things to discuss than our relationship problems."

"Oh?"

"Victor Madden knows you've been turned. He wants you for his nest. In fact, it appears as if the fire was a rouse to get you turned. He got the Fellowship of the Sun to infiltrate Fangtasia, to figure out your patterns -- and then, he used them to set fire to the bar. I was supposed to die. And he was supposed to be the one who turned you."

"That's ridiculous, Eric. I'm protected by --"

"No one," Eric finished. "It appears as though my usefulness has waned in the De Castro camp. It's not unexpected," he said calmly. "But we either have to run or eliminate the threat."

Suddenly Sookie didn't feel so hungry anymore.

 

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4.  Learning to Feel

Sookie felt like she was going to vomit. Her stomach churned, and hot bile, or blood, she thought absently, began to rise up in her throat. "Victor?" she said. "That's just," she paused, searching for the right word, "gross."

Eric nodded. "Indeed," he sat down on the couch and spread himself lazily over the furniture. "Obviously, running is not the answer."

Sookie wasn't so sure that was true. "Then what are we going to do?" She nearly said she was so tired of all the 'vamp bullshit," but remembered that it was her bullshit now, too.

"Eliminate the threat, of course," Eric said, matter-of-factly. He shifted his body and made a space for Sookie next to him on the sofa. He patted the empty space. "Sit," he said. When she glared at him, he added, "Please."

Sookie sat down, cuddling her body into Eric's. "I suppose you'll want to use my super powers," Sookie said, dryly.

Eric ignored her comment. "When a powerful vampire, such as myself, sires a Child, there is always a grand introduction of the Child into vampire society. It's not unlike the debutante balls favored by Southern tradition," Eric explained. "I am expected to hold such and event to introduce you to society. Of course, this cannot happen  until you are tamed."

"Tamed!" Sookie said, offended. But, then she remembered how wild she had been the night before, causing Elliot's predicament, and her temper vanished. "Right."

Eric reached up a hand and began to play with her hair. "All of the vampire royalty and vampires of a certain status will be invited to witness your introduction to society. Once you are introduced, you are formally subject to our laws and formally pledge yourself to the service of the King of the area in my name."

Sookie shuddered. "I don't want anything to do with that vampire."

"Of course not," Eric said. "I have already told Victor that you are in no condition to be presented for the foreseeable future. Usually, these things are done when the new vampire has been turned for a year; we, however, do not have that kind of time. I can only manage to hold Victor off until Fangtasia is finished being rebuilt."

"How long is that?"

"A few months, at most," Eric said. "I can stall things by being picky and difficult. But, there is no way, it's going to be more than four months from now, and that's pushing it." Eric paused, kissing her on the forehead. "But, it's a certainty, that Victor will want to see you before then. And, it would be helpful if you could do whatever it was you did to me and Pam when he does come -- he won't want to be harmed."

"You want me to hurt you? Again."

Eric laughed. "You didn't _hurt_ me. You _stunned_ me."

"Whatever it was, I don't want to do it again."

He shrugged. "It's something we're going to have to work on. We'll start tomorrow."

~*~

Sookie stood behind the human, a twenty-something woman named Ruby, who volunteered to help Sookie out and didn't mind being turned into a vampire if that is what happened.

If.

Sookie kept reminding herself that Elliot was probably just a one off fluke.

The only reason Sookie was standing behind Ruby, fangs bared, ready to feed was that she had talked to the woman herself, fully explaining what had happened to Elliot. And Sookie felt confident that this woman knew what she was in for. Mostly.

Sookie was ready to feed. She and Eric had decided it was best to replicate the events of Elliot's turning as closely as possible. That meant Sookie was starving and that the person had AB+ blood, which was apparently Sookie's favorite and amused Eric to no end.

"Remember," Eric said, "Pam and I will be right here. You just do what you need to do and try to feel what happens. And don't try to stop what is going to happen from happening."

Sookie nodded as she tightened her grip on Ruby's waist. She tried not to hesitate, but had to ask one last time, even though she knew the answer, "You're sure there isn't any news about what this is or how to control it?"

Pam shook her head. "Niall is unavailable. We've got calls out in conventional and not-so conventional places, I even asked Claude, which was torture, Sookie. The only way to know how this works is to experiment."

Sookie understood; she wished it was different, but she had to let whatever was going to happen happen.

She closed her eyes and focused on the desire building from deep with in her, it was a thrumming, hot kind of desire that would overpower her senses and make her lose all control if she let it -- and she was going to let the desire devour her. It was liberating and frightening all at the same time.

She lowered her head closer to Ruby's neck, taking in the scent of her blood, the sweet life force that Sookie craved more than she had ever craved water, food or air as a human. This blood, this life, was more of a necessity than anything she'd ever wanted in her life.

 _Want. Want. Want. Want._ The chant repeated in her mind in time with the pulsating of Ruby's jugular vein. Sookie's fangs extended, without her even having to think about it, at the sight of the throbbing vein, she could feel the rhythm of human circulation in her bones, like a drum beat, and she was lulled into its grasp, allowing the desire to envelope her and pull her closer to the human's body.

She licked the salty flesh with the flat of her tongue, hyper aware of the smooth, warm texture and the way the skin rose and fell in quick bursts with heavy breaths and the pressure of blood pushing through the veins. Her fangs were freezing in contrast to the warmth of the human's flesh, she noted as she licked them in preparation for diving deeply into the warmth of the flesh that pulsed beneath her tongue.

 _Want. Want. Want. Want._

The desire pulled at her, tugged her head backward and then down, striking at the flesh over the jugular vein in the human's neck, the way a snake attacks its prey. She heard the startled cry of the human, felt the human's heartbeat quicken, causing hot, sweet, sticky blood to pour over her tongue in a magnificent burst of satisfaction that only bred more desire. So, Sookie sucked the blood in greedy mouthfuls, one after the other, after the other until she knew what it was she was chasing -- life. Warm, fragile life, so temporary in those fragile human bodies; she wanted to take it and keep it safe in her immortal temple.

And she was greedy about it. She wanted to take as much life into her as she could so that no human would ever have to die. Oh, she was loving the power she had - to grant a tiny slice of immortality to any human that would share with her.

And she drank.

And drank.

And drank.

Until a growled, "Sookie, stop," broke her from her reverie and pulled her from her pursuit of hot life.

The interruption filled her with annoyance. Then, a strong, cool hand forced its way in between her body and the human's, it tried to pry them apart, to deny her the life she so desperately craved, desired and needed. Anger and panic overwhelmed her senses. She wanted more blood, more life and she needed it.

Suddenly, she was aware of a fiery heat rising from her body, one steady wave of heat, growing from her core and shooting out of every pore of her body in a white ray of light, and then her desire returned. She felt safe, so she drank. As she took in another gulp, she was vaguely aware of Eric, presumably swearing, in language she could not understand.

She tried to stop drinking, not because she cared if the human lived or died, but to see if Eric was all right. She did not want to harm her Maker. But she found that no matter how hard she tried, she could not pull away from the blood that was slowly trickling from the bite mark in the human's neck.

Instead, she lapped at the slow flow, sucking idly to keep the blood flowing and the wound from healing. She reasoned that she continued to drink because the alternative was to stand there with her fangs embedded in flesh -- and that was a waste. She felt physically connected to this human in a way she had never felt physically connected to anything before.

And then there was an instant shift, Sookie couldn't pull away fast enough. The blood's taste changed from sweet, sticky and full of life to sour, thin and without the tang of life she craved so much. The vibrancy of life she chased was no longer there, and so with it went her interest in the human. She retracted her fangs, licked the wound to heal it and let the human's body slump to the floor before she licked the edges of her mouth to clean them.

 

 

 

~*~  
Eric watched Sookie feed in rapt fascination. He had watched himself feed many times, as well as other vampires; but, he had never seen anyone so connected to the moment of feeding. Most vampires claimed sexual arousal when they were feeding; but, Sookie's rapture came from a different place.

As she pulled away from the human, allowing her to slump to the floor in an undignified heap, Eric shook out his arm. His whole body ached from the zap she'd given him. It was more powerful than before.

That worried him, to say the least.

He moved toward the human, checking for a pulse. He looked up at Sookie. "Are you all right, Lover?" he asked.

She smiled, showing her fangs. "I can't -- is Ruby all right?" she asked, slightly in a daze.

Eric nodded. "I don't think she'll have to be turned. She could probably use some TruBlood and iron, though. Pam, could you take her to a guest room and get her taken care of?"

"Of course," Pam said. She picked up the body with no effort. "When I'm done, I'll head to Fangtasia to see how the tear down is going."

Eric nodded. "Thank you."

He turned to Sookie. "What did you notice?"

"Want," Sookie said. "But it was more than having to have something." She paused. "I - her life, I needed to take her life, preserve it."

Eric nodded. He had felt that way as a young vampire, he thought. "What did you feel when I tried to separate you from the human?"

"Fear. Anger. I didn't want you to take her. It burned inside me, the desire to keep her, to feed from her, to have all of her life."

That was not something he had experienced. Ever.

"Next time, we work on controlling it."

Sookie nodded. "Do you think it's even possible?"

"It has to be."

 

~*~

  
Sookie was trying to read. Eric had given her an old, worn tome, full of vampire lore. He said it contained their history, and that she needed to learn it. She was reading over a very dull passage about Human Trade when she thought of her family. No one had spoken to her of Jason, Sam, Amelia, or Bill, really.

"Eric, did you tell Jason I'm vampire, now?"

Eric looked up from his own reading, a book written in a language Sookie couldn't even begin to guess, and shook his head. "No. We thought you would want to tell him."

Sookie closed her eyes and counted to ten. She did not want to have a fight with Eric. "What about Sam? And what did you tell them."

Eric snapped his book shut. "As far as your brother and the Shifter and the witch are concerned, you're on business for me. They knew you were not killed, in a manner of speaking, by the fire. But, beyond that, it's none of their business."

"I want to see them," Sookie said, snapping her own book shut. She heard the binding tear, and saw Eric's shocked expression, but tossed it onto the mahogany coffee table in front of her with a loud thud.

"That book is older than I am," he said, a harsh edge heavy in his voice.

Sookie crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you didn't tell them."

Eric placed his own book gently on the coffee table next to the tome Sookie had slammed down. "You seriously need to calm your shit down, Sookie." He sounded tired and worn. "I know your emotions are ... erratic ... at the moment, but this banter, this fighting between you and me, it's not amusing or witty or verbal sparring. It's childish and it will stop." He paused and locked gazes with her. "Now."

"Eric Northman, I will not be spoken to like that," she said, working herself up into a huff. Her grandmother would pulled her by the ear and given her a stern talking to for behaving in such a manner. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, daring him to do something.

Eric pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sookie, let me ask you a question: Would you have been happy if I had told them all the truth? Or, would you have been angry because you did not have the chance to tell them on your own?"

That knocked the wind right out of her sails. "I - well, I hadn't thought of it like that," she said, deflated.

"I thought as much." He sat forward on the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees. "I can tell you this, however, if you continue to behave like a child, and I mean a human infant, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands and punish you. You cannot let your emotions get the best of you, Sookie. It's too dangerous."

Sookie nodded. "I get it," she said. Though, she wondered about this punishment. She made a mental note to ask Pam about it later. "Now, can I please see my friends and family."

"Yes."

"Now?"

"There are only a few hours until dawn, and there isn't a secure place to stay in Bon Temps. I know all about the hidey hole, as you call it, but it's not safe."

"Can I call?"

Eric leaned back and fished in his pocket for his phone. He held it out to her. "I'll get you your own."

Sookie puffed out her chest at that. "I'm not some kept woman. I'll go back to working at Merlotte's. I can pay my own way, Eric."

Eric tried to keep a serious expression on his face. But, he lost all composure and laughed, a deep, roaring belly laugh, like she had never seen before. He laughed so hard, that tears of blood beaded in the corners of his eyes. "Oh," he said, "that's rich, Sookie." He laughed again. "You, my Child, the most sought after Child in a century, and you think you're going to work as a barmaid in Bon Temps." He wiped his eyes and forced himself to blink to clear any excess blood from them. "You are a vampire of status because I am a vampire of status; but you will have power and authority in your own right one day -- and the way to get it is certainly not to wait tables for the Shifter in a shit whole bar."

"I won't be a kept woman," she yelled. "I'm not your toy."

Eric shook his head. "Of course not. I know how much you love your independence," he said, derisively. "But, in addition to being my Child, let's not forget that you're my wife. My _vampire_ wife. I have an obligation to take care of you. By law. And, I'm not going to face a tribunal over your silly, wounded pride." He paused. "You will allow me to care for you. And, I will allow you to work after your debut, at Fangtasia, once I know you're stable and have a handle on your emotions."

"You _tricked_ me into marrying you," she said, cursing the existence of that stupid ceremonial dagger.

Eric shrugged. "Trick or not, it is legally binding in this world, Sookie. You are vampire, you are mine and that's the way it is."

"I was right," she said, testily, "you are mean."

"You haven't seen mean yet. But, keep pushing and you will." He reclined on the sofa. "Perhaps you need to speak with Jessica to find out how she came to be so obedient to my will."

"Who cares if she obeys you? She still gives Bill a hell of a time."

"That's his problem. I will not have newborns treating me as you do. Especially not one who is going to rise in vampire society as you will."

"What if I don't want to rise in vampire society? That seems to get you all killed. Look at Sophie-Anne? And, what about Felipe? You're planning his destruction as we speak. I like being a lowly barmaid. And, if that embarrasses you, well, you can fuck right the hell off."

Eric stood with an unnatural speed that was natural for those of their kind. "I warned you, Sookie," he said, softly. The softness of his voice was eerie and it made her skin rise in goose flesh. He loomed over her and she pushed herself back into the couch. "I'm sorry," she said, meaning each and every syllable down to the core of her being.

"That," he said, "is your final warning. If I even so much as see you thinking those words at me, or feel any disrespectful emotions through the bond, I will not hesitate to punish you. Do we understand each other?"

Sookie nodded.

"Good." He plucked the cell phone from her lap and held it out in front of her. "I think you have some phone calls to make. I will see you when you come to rest at dawn."

 

~*~

  
Sookie waited until Eric left the room before she dialed Merlotte's. The number was familiar, and she had more of desire to speak to Sam than she had to speak to her brother.

"Merlotte's," Sam answered.

"Same," Sookie said, relieved. "Hi. It's Sookie."

"Hey, Sook," he said. He sounded happy to hear from her and relieved. "I've been worried sick! Eric called and told me you wouldn't be coming back to work."

Sookie's body tensed in anger. "It's true," she admitted. "I - well, some things have _changed_."

She heard glass shatter over the phone. "That son of a bitch," Sam said. "You just tell me where you are and I'll come get you - protect you. He can't just keep you from your life, Sookie. He's got forever, you don't and you're pissing your life away just jumping at his beck and call."

Sookie felt her throat constrict, a warning of oncoming tears. "Things have changed," she repeated, emphasizing the last word.

She could hear Sam walking behind the bar, the murmur of drunken townsfolk drowning out Sam's disappointment for a moment, and then the silence of his office followed by a hard slam to the door and a loud clicking of a door lock. "What happened after that fire, chere?" he asked.

Sookie pictured Sam sitting down at his desk, propping his feet up, and cradling the phone between his neck and shoulder as he worried his fingers over the hem of his shirt. He'd done the same thing so many times when he'd pulled her into the office for one of his 'Sookie, get your shit together' talks.

"Nothing," Sookie said. Then, "Everything." She sighed. "I - it's just good to hear your voice." Though, Sookie felt like someone was driving a stake through her heart by taunting her with a return to normalcy that could never be. Not now that she was vampire.

"Sook," Sam said, his voice quiet and full of desperation and all the things he had always wanted to say but never could. "You can tell me. I might not approve," he started. But, Sookie cut off his words with a sharp, derisive snort.

"That's the understatement of the millennium," she said, cracking a smile.

He cleared his throat. "I know you can read minds, but last I checked, you can't do it over the damn phone. Would you let me say my piece, then you can tear into me all you want, chere."

"Sorry," she said. "Go on, I'm listening."

Sam sighed. "Like I said, I might not approve, but I'll do whatever you need me to do so you can be happy. Well, I won't make Eric my best friend, or anything; but, if he's important to you," and there was a pause which Sookie took to mean, and I wish he wasn't, "then, I'll put up with him. Even if he calls me Shifter, I'll stop calling him a fucking bloodsucker when he calls."

Sookie laughed. "That's real nice, Sam."

"Where are you?"

"Safe," Sookie said, knowing that's all he really cared about. "I'm safe. Eric and Pam are keeping me safe."

"Jason's worried sick. He's been in here drinking himself stupid every night, waiting until close, to see if you finally turn up for a shift," Sam volunteered.

"Keep an eye on him," Sookie said. She knew she didn't need to ask; but, it felt sisterly to do so.

"Already am. I have his truck keys in my pocket and I talked Hoyt into giving him a ride home. You should call him."

Sookie was shaking her head.

"Sook?"

"Oh, right," she said, feeling foolish for thinking a shake of the head would translate over the phone."I can't call him. I can't tell him. Fuck, I can barely tell you."

"No matter what you tell me, nothing will change. We know each other's secrets," he coaxed.

Sookie sighed. The weight of her secret was bearing down on her and she knew that if she told Sam, told anyone who wasn't Eric or Pam or Elliot, that things would be real. That she would be vampire, and it wouldn't be a dream anymore.

"I was hurt real bad during the fire," she started. "Worse than the faeries," she added.

Sam was quiet.

"I burned, Sam," Sookie said. "The pain, what I remember of it, was awful. And," her voice hitched, and the sobs began to take control of her ability to speak. The fluid, steady voice she had maintained for the length of the conversation was gone.

"Shit, goddammit, Sookie, please tell me you're still human," Sam pleaded.

"Eric didn't have a choice," Sookie defended. "I begged, Sam. I ..." she cried. "Please don't hate me."

There was a long, stilted silence. Sam cleared his throat. She could hear the hard soles of his boots making contact with the wooden floor in his office. He started to pace, click-clack-click-clack-spin-click-clack-click-clack. After what felt like forever, he said, "I am going to drive a stake through that fucker's heart."

"Sam," Sookie said, panicking just a little. She knew Sam's bark was worse than his bite, no pun intended. "That would make me unhappy. I need him now. More than ever before. He's my Maker -- if he dies, if I lose him," she shuddered. "Plus there's the bond and the fact that I'm his wife to consider."

"All right," Sam said, tightly. "I'm here for you. But, it's going to be a long while before that fucking bloodsucker will be welcome in my presence."

"What happened to playing nice?" Sookie asked sweetly.

"Everything," Sam said. "Look. I won't tell Jason. But, you need to. Soon. I have to go, it's time to close up. Call, come visit, whatever. Just leave the bloodsucker at home."

"Bye Sam. It was good to hear your voice."

"You too, Sook." Then Sam hung up leaving Sookie with silence on the other end.

 

~*~

  
Pam found Sookie leaking. It was less disgusting when it was blood that was dripping from her eyes than tears; at least the blood smelled better. Pam put her hands on her hips, "What did the Shifter do?"

Sookie wiped away the tears with the back of her hand and watched in rapt fascination as her body absorbed the blood back into itself. "He got upset."

Pam sat down on the couch next to Sookie, crossing her legs at the ankle and smoothing the front of her pale pink A-line skirt over her lap. "He'll get over it. And, even if he doesn't, so what? That's part of your past."

"It's not like when you were turned, Pam," Sookie said. "I can still have a relationship with them, while there's still time."

"Do you want to watch them grow old and frail?" Pam asked. "It's difficult."

Sookie looked at her and quirked an eyebrow in question.

"I had a sister. She was younger than me by two years, maybe three. It hardly matters now, she's been dead as long as she was alive now." Pam turned to face Sookie. "When Eric turned me, he allowed me to keep contact with Sarah at first, until it became clear that I was no longer aging. I wrote to her after I could no longer see her. Then, she sent for me because she was dying.

Eric allowed me to go, under the guise of being my own daughter. I wrote her and told her I was far too ill and feeble myself to travel. And when I got there, oh, it was more horrible than anything I've seen in my life -- and I've pulled vampire from your cleavage, remember that.

Sarah had shrunken and shriveled up and she stunk of decay and death even as she lay there breathing, working so hard at it too, just clinging to life the way humans do when it's a futile endeavor.

I barely said two words to her before I cried. And, obviously, I had to leave because there was no way to explain the bloody tears.

It took me hours to work up the strength to return and when I did, she was alone. I sat by her bedside and held her hand while she died.

No death has ever effected me like that, Sookie. She was my sister. Not a nestmate. Not a Maker. But, the last piece of my humanity, and it was snuffed out like a candle in the breeze."

 "Pam, that's awful," Sookie said. Pam could tell she was preparing to leak again.

Pam shrugged. "It was a long time ago and it hardly matters now. The point is that you cannot get attached to your past. Your future is so much longer than theirs. The sooner you let go, the less it will hurt."

"I think the regret of letting those days pass would be worse," Sookie said.

"I wouldn't know. I guess you have an advantage I did not. But, that's not why I came here. Eric sent me to speak with you."

Sookie didn't look surprised. "I'm not trying to piss him off."

"Well, trying or not, you are. And, you really don't want to do that. It's not pretty." Pam buffed her finger nails against the hem of her jacket and looked at them. "He's patient, especially when it comes to you, Sookie."

Sookie was quiet for a moment while she took in what Pam said. "He's trying to make me into something I'm not."

Pam rolled her eyes. "When has he commanded you to do, or not do, something as your Maker?"

"At the graveyard," Sookie answered right away.

"And?" Pam prompted.

Sookie thought for moment. "That's it."

"Right," Pam said. "Just realize this, he's not trying to make you into something you're not; he's trying to make you into something you are." She tapped Sookie's knee with her hand. "He's not going to be able to maintain his patience much longer. And trust me, Sookie, you do not want him to punish you."

 

~*~

  
When Eric came to bed, Sookie was sitting up, reading. She had carefully collected his tome on vampire history and set to reading through the section on Human Trade to Methods for Surviving Ship Travel.

"Are you finding that informative?" he asked.

"Somewhat. It's different now, I can just get a TruBlood rather than chase down a rat if I needed to travel by ship."

Eric nodded. "I suppose, but there is always the danger that we'll be forced back into hiding. Humans are fickle creatures."

Eric sat down on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes and socks. He tossed the socks into the hamper and tucked his shoes under the edge of the bed. "I heard the Shifter upset you," he said, conversationally.

"I'm fine," Sookie said. "So, whatever pissing contest you two think you're going to get into -- don't."

Eric nodded. "Fine, but I'm still calling him Shifter."

Sookie shrugged. "That's one thing you two can agree on. He's committed to calling you, and I quote, fucking bloodsucker."

Eric stood up and shucked his pants, shirt and boxers, then he climbed into the bed naked. "That's so original," Eric said. "But, I am sorry that we've been at odds with each other."

Sookie closed the book carefully and set it down gently on the bedside table. "I don't feel like myself. At all," she said. "Parts of the Sookie I was are there. But, I'm not used to this."

Eric pulled himself closer to her and adjusted the covers around them. "What's this?" he asked, settling next to her as she moved down to rest her head against his chest.

"The vampire thing. The whole, you're my Maker, and in control of me forever, thing. And the everyone I know is going to die and I'm never going to change thing." She sighed. "Plus the thing where I like to feed and can't stop until people nearly die thing."

"I'm not trying to control you," Eric said. "As you and Pam discussed, I have not forced you to do anything as I could, save keep you from destroying yourself in a fit of foolishness."

Sookie nodded against his chest. "I know."

He reached down and stroked her cheek. "You are important to me."

"I know," Sookie said, her hand snaked down over his chest, under the covers, to lightly caress his gracious plenty. "And, I don't want to fight. I want you to make me what I am."

"My lover?" he asked, his voice husky with desire. He shifted so he could splay his legs and give her easier access to his body.

"Tonight, sure. But, that's not what I meant. I need to feel like I'm vampire. I still feel human."

Eric moved so that he was over Sookie, bearing most of his weight on his forearms. He put his forehead to hers and nipped at her bottom lip and licked the blood that beaded for a brief second. "I don't want you to lose it all," he said. "I like that you make me remember the good parts of being human. "

Sookie kissed him back, cutting his bottom lip on her fang, still unused to wielding those weapons with grace or skill. He ran his tongue over his lip, healing it before the muscle could complete the pass. "Careful," he whispered.

"I can't help it," she said, talking around the fangs awkwardly. He ran her hands through his hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling him down toward her. "Let's make a deal," she said, pressing her lips to his, mindful of her fangs this time. "You make me more vampire, and I'll make you more human. We can balance each other out."

"After I kill that fucking son of a bitch who tried to steal you from me," he said, shifting his weight to one elbow and reaching his hand between her legs. He touched her body, making her arch her back and tilt her head and hiss in pleasure. "You are mine."

He wanted to drag out the moment, make her feel cared for and loved, but he could sense through the bond that she needed a fast fuck, the kind that vented all the frustrations a person had in the world through mind blowing orgasm. He kneeled back on his haunches and pulled her legs over his shoulders, and then entered her in one, smooth stroke. She gave a throaty moan and pushed her hips up to meet his thrust.

And he kept moving, kept making her feel, kept connecting her to him, until the both released the frustrations of the night in a blissful orgasm. He kissed her as he pulled out. "Soon, I'll be able to feed from you when we make love," he told her, smoothing her sweaty hair from her forehead.

"That was amazing," she said, her chest rising and falling rapidly, causing her breasts to bounce sensuously. He reached out and cupped one in his hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It gets even better over time. Especially with the feeding."

"Even better than before? I don't think it's possible," Sookie said. "Why am I breathing so hard? Or breathing, period?"

"Habit," Eric said. "I like it."

But, Sookie didn't answer him. She had rolled onto her side and died for the day. Her body was still. He, too felt the tug of dawn, but he could resist for a little longer. He got up and found a wash cloth, cleaning her skin before he covered her in soft blankets.

He kissed her on the forehead. "Tomorrow night's a big night, lover," he whispered, not entirely convinced all vampires stopped hearing when the entered their rest.

 

~*~

Eric picked himself up off the ground. He had to grab the edge of the sofa to balance himself. It was the third time he'd been thrown across the room by Sookie's defenses, and it was getting more powerful each and every time.

"You're not concentrating," Eric growled.

Sookie pulled herself off of the human in front of her, a young man with sandy brown hair, and dropped him to the ground. Pam bent down and checked his pulse. "He's fine. He'll need rest, but he's fine."

"Take him with the others and bring in a new one."

Pam picked up the human. "She's getting stronger with each feeding. Maybe we should wait a while and let her strength dissipate," Pam suggested.

"No. She has to learn to let me through." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I need to feed. This is draining me of my energy."

Sookie sat down on the couch while Eric went into the next room to feed from one of the many bangers he'd procured for the evening.He returned quickly and sat down on the couch next to her. "You're not trying hard enough," he said, sounding tired for the first time since she'd known him.

Sookie shook her head. "It's not easy, Eric. I want to let you in, but it's just not happening."

"Fine. We're going to wait a few minutes, then try again." He laid his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes.

Sookie broke the silence. "You've never looked old before," she said, astonishment apparent in her voice. "I mean, I knew you were old, but you never looked it." She paused. "I think we should stop. It's hurting you."

Eric rubbed at his eyes. "No. We cannot afford to stop. I'll be fine." He wasn't sure he was telling the truth, really. There was no telling what the hell Sookie's newfound zapping power was doing to him. But, he felt as old as he was - well, he supposed. The only other thousand year old creatures that aged he knew of were fossilized into rock bed, and he didn't feel that way.

"You don't know that," Sookie said. "I can feel your uncertainty through the bond."

Eric sighed. "Just let me worry about this. It's the only way that Victor won't try to steal you off to Vegas before you've been introduced to society. He needs to think you're a danger to anyone but me so that he lets you stay here and doesn't send anyone to take you down."

Sookie went silent. "I didn't think he'd try to hurt me. I'm valuable."

"Only if he can control you."

"But you're my Maker."

Eric sat up and looked at her. He took her hand in his. "There's a ritual. It's very old, from the days when it was necessary to control new vampires. When one's Maker died - and it happened all the time, humans would find one of our kind, and kill us. We were also more likely to go crazy from the tedium -- where there were so few people," he sighed. "The end result was a ritual, witches helped, but we could bind ourselves to another vampire, by force, to take the Maker's power."

"And he knows of this?"

Eric nodded. "We all do, Sookie. No one uses that barbaric rite anymore, not unless the tribunal agrees that to lose a particular vampire would harm society."

"So he couldn't do this to me?"

"He could. He just has to be willing to pay the price." Eric sighed. "And, unfortunately for us, he is."

Sookie sat closer to Eric and leaned on his shoulder. "All right, old man, time to get up and try again." She stood up. "Am I always going to be this hungry?"

Eric pulled himself up from the couch, feeling an ache deep within his joints, and groaned. "Old man?" he said. "I'm not old. I've just had my ass beat to hell. And, you won't be hungry for this long. It'll subside in about a hundred and fifty years." He stood up. "What blood type would you like? We have a B - and an O + who haven't been fed from yet."

Sookie's fangs popped. "I haven't had O+ in a while. I'll have that one."

Eric went to retrieve a fangbanger, this time a young woman with wavy black hair. He pulled her in by the wrist. "Before you get upset, she asked to be glamored. She likes not being able to remember."

Sookie brought the girl to the couch. "I want to feed while sitting," she said. "I nearly fell over last time, it was so good."

Eric sat down next to Sookie. "Fine, but this time, I want you to try to let me in. You need to focus on the bond, I think - feel the fact that I want to help you stay safe, to protect you, to help you get more life."

Sookie nodded. Before Eric could speak another word, she latched on to the girl's neck and sucked back great, greedy gulps of blood. Oh, how he loved to watch her feed. The scent of the blood caused him to become aroused, his own fangs extended and then, he saw that the girl was getting pale, the scent of death was replacing the scent of blood.

"Sookie," he said, gently. His voice was barely a whisper, but he knew that she would hear it as though he were screaming. "Let go. Let me in, and let go."

He braced himself to be slammed across the room with the force of her furious fear when he placed a hand in between him and the girl. He was surprised that he was allowed to maintain contact beyond the quick brush of before. "Let go, Sookie."

And when she moved, he was sure that he was going to go flying across the room. But, his feet remained firmly planted on the ground. He sent a wave of strong emotions of protection through the bond, feeding her desire for safety, and he pried the bodies of the two women apart.

"Let go," he repeated, urging her to keep her calm.

And then, Sookie stepped away and the young woman didn't slump to the ground in a heap.

Sookie licked her lips, then smiled broadly, showing her fangs. "It worked," she said, astounded. "It worked. I just felt the bond and you and ... it worked!"

Eric nodded. "Wonderful," he said dryly. "Now we have to replicated it. Again and again."

"Fine by me. I could feed again." She smiled. "And again."

 

~*~

  
"Three times?" Pam asked, impressed.

Eric nodded. "Yes. She managed to keep from throwing me across the room three times. But, she did manage to toss me across the room eight other times. Her control still needs work." He rubbed at his shoulder. "I haven't felt like this since the last battle I fought as a Viking."

Pam was concerned. "You should feed from Sookie. She's still part fae, her blood could heal you more rapidly."

"I am aware, Pam," he said, annoyed. "I don't want to push her."

"You think part of this is because she can't trust you," Pam said, amused. "She trusts you. She's just too damn powerful for her own good. That's why, as a rule, we don't take Supes and make them vampires."

Eric nodded. "Again, I am aware. But, the alternative was to let her die."

"No one's saying it was a bad move, Eric. I'm only suggesting that we couldn't have anticipated the problems that came along with transforming Sookie, that's all."

"Any news from Fangtasia?"

Pam nodded. "Plenty. The site will be cleared by Monday. Then, they'll start building Tuesday. You should go and visit the site before they begin building. I don't trust that they're stabilizing the foundation correctly."

"I'll go down after I take Sookie to Bon Temps. She's adamant that she needs to visit the Shifter."

Pam shrugged. "She doesn't love him, Eric." She smiled. "I don't think I've seen you this jealous before."

"I'm not jealous of that dog," Eric said, offended. "I just don't see the need to connect with that past life. There is nothing but death there."

Pam nodded. "You tried to tell me the same thing. And, I still went to Sarah."

"It's a mistake we must all learn from," he sighed. He clicked through is e mail rapidly, one click at a time, until he stumbled upon something that had him seething. "Victor Madden has demanded his audience. He wants to come to my home and meet with Sookie."

"You'll have to fumigate after he leaves."

"Or, burn the place after he leaves." He smiled. "We should meet him at the Red Chute house. I've always hated that place."

"I'll make the arrangements with Sandy."

"Good." Eric rubbed his shoulder again. "I don't know how much more of this I can take. At least she's a fast learner."

"Feed from her," Pam said, trying to make it sound like an order.

Eric glared at her. "Just because you have a Child does not mean you can order me around."

"I like the power I have over him."

"Do not abuse it, Pam," Eric warned.

"I know, Eric. It's hard to forget about him."

Eric waved her away. "Enjoy what's left of the night. Be back here tomorrow, just after sunset. We have plans to set in motion." He paused. "I suppose it's time to invite Bill, too."

   


~*~

  
TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Learning to Feel (5/?)

Bill entered Eric's home office, astonished at the spartan feel of the place. He had expected mahogany and granite at every turn. But, instead, the room was warm and inviting. He thought privately that it was only so warm and inviting so that his meals would feel at ease.

"Hello, Bill," Eric said, not bothering to look up from his computer until he had finished composing the e mail he had been working on. "You're early."

Bill was happy to hear the annoyance in Eric's voice. He had arrived early on purpose knowing that Eric wouldn't be ready to see him. But, as he had important information for the Sherrif, he would put up with it.

However, Bill's amusement was short lived when Eric looked up from the computer. "Christ, Eric," Bill said, aghast. "You look," and as he took in the new lines around Eric's eyes, the few strands of white hair, standing out painfully in the carefully combed blond hair Bill had once envied, and the dark circles under his eyes, "human. And old." He sat down in the chair across from Eric's desk.

Eric snapped the lid of his laptop shut. "I feel old, Bill." Eric sighed. Bill was shocked that Eric would admit to feeling anything less than perfect.

"What happened?"

"Sookie. It's the defenses she has. She's finally started getting them under control; but," he shrugged, "not before she was able to do this to me." Eric smiled. "I was beautiful once."

Bill rolled his eyes. "You only need to feed from her. The longer you wait the less potent the healing ability for you in her blood."

"I am aware of that, Bill. In fact, I'm the one who told you. I understand the benefits of the Maker/Child relationship, thank you."

"I'm only trying to help. Though, God knows why," Bill replied dryly. "Where is Sookie? I haven't seen her."

"Resting. She won't wake until it's completely dark."

"Right," he said, thinking of Jessica and her habits at this point. "I thank you for the chance to see her."

"As if I wouldn't take care of her, Bill," Eric said. He reached for a bottle of TruBlood that was at the edge of his desk. He grimmaced.

"You're being stubborn. Feed from her." He recalled Sookie's enthusiasm for his bite. "She won't mind in the right conditions, I'm sure."

"I'm fine," Eric insisted. But, Bill knew he was weakened.

"Fairy magic is not something to be trifled with. And, since they've closed off their world, it's not as though we can ask for help."

"So you say," Eric said. "Do not mention this to Sookie."

Bill didn't promise one way or the other. He simply nodded his head.

~*~

Bill was astonished by how painful the exposure to Sookie's defenses were. It was a powerful shock that overpowered his entire being for what felt like an eternity, and he felt that was saying something for a vampire to make such a comparison.

He pulled, more like peeled, himself up from the ground, making dramatic groans as he pulled himself into a standing position. He looked at Eric, who was sitting on a couch, rubbing his temples. "How many times did she do this to you?"

Pam answered for Eric. "Too many. And before you got here, he wouldn't let anyone else try."

"Glad I could be of assistance," Bill replied, wryly. He rubbed his neck with one hand while steadying himself on a table with the other.

"It's not as bad as it was in the beginning," Eric said. He had moved to help Sookie's human up from the ground. The young man was moving, nowhere near drained as Eric had described Sookie's other humans. "She's learning to control it much better."

"She's right here," Sookie said, annoyed at being left out of the conversation. "It gets easier every time."

Bill thought that was fortunate, judging by the look of Eric, he wouldn't be able to take much more. When Eric got up to bring in the next human, Bill volunteered to handle it.

Eric didn't say a word, but he looked grateful.

~*~

Sookie was acting as the lady of the manor. She had warm bottles of TruBlood available for her guests, not to mention a steady supply of humans that seemed to revolve through the doors infinitely, as half the Shreveport vampires seemed to be taking up residence at Eric's house. She sat down in her chair, next to Eric's, and folded her hands in her lap. "Does anyone need anything?" she asked.

Bill sipped at his TruBlood, and set it down on the table. He glanced from Eric, who looked paler than death and old, to Sookie who was radiant and glowing. "Eric needs to feed from you," he said.

"Not now, Bill," Eric warned. However, Bill garnered the intended reaction. Sookie jumped to her feet and put her hands on her hips.

"Eric, what does he mean?"

"Nothing," Eric said, waving a hand in dismissal.

She turned her gaze to Bill. "Bill?" she asked, shifting most of her weight to one foot so that her hip was jutting out.

"Just look at him, Sookie," Bill said.

And when he did, he couldn't help but focus on those deepened crow's feet around Eric's eyes that hadn't been there last time he had seen him, the silvery strands of hair along the temple that had multiplied since their visit in Eric's office and that look of human tired on his face. When he heard Sookie gasp, he knew she saw it, too.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Eric," she whispered. She went to him and fell to her knees, taking his large hands up in her small ones. Bill felt a sharp pang of jealousy at the scene. "Why didn't you say something?"

Eric was silent for a moment before he snatched his hands away. "No one should have said anything."

"It was necessary," Bill challenged, standing. He could see Eric's ire rising, sense the increase of tension in the room and he felt he needed to protect Sookie. Though, most of him knew that Eric would never hurt her. "You're losing your strenght."

Eric stood with vampire quickness, closing the gap between himself and Bill in less time than it takes a human to blink. "I can still take you in a fight," Eric challenged.

Sookie yelled, "Stop."

Neither of them made any move to acknowledge her plea.

"Sookie," Pam said, backing away from the two circling vampires, "it's really best to let them get this over with. Eric's being exceedinly stubborn. Even for him."

And so, Sookie stood by Pam, arm touching arm. "I am so sick of the macho bullshit," Sookie said, sotto voce.

"Why?" Pam asked. "This is so exciting. Eric's going to kick Bill's ass. I haven't seen this in years."

Bill growled. "This is for your own good, Eric."

Eric laughed. "Suddenly feeling charitable where I'm concerned?" And then he lunged. He didn't give Bill a chance to prepare for the advance. Sookie saw the gleam of Eric's fangs in the light of the room, and heard the unmistakable sound of fangs piercing flesh, well tearing would be a more apt description, she supposed.

Pam was excited. She jumped slightly. "This is wonderful," she said.

Eric landed a solid punch to Bill's jaw, causing Bill to groan and speckles of blood to land on the nice, white walls. But, then instead of advancing and carrying on with the onslaught, Eric recoiled, holding his left fist in his right hand.

Bill took advantage of Eric's distraction and pushed Eric to the ground, pinning his hands above his head, and then biting Eric. He didn't feed from Eric, but his fangs dug into his Sherriff's flesh over and over again.

Eric grunted with pain and struggled to get Bill off of him. He twisted his torso this way and that as he moved his legs in an attempt to gain leverage. Bill pushed him back to the ground at every turn.

"Admit defeat and drink from Sookie," Bill said, commanding his superior to action.

"Mind your own business, Compton," Eric retorted. He spit in Bill's face. Bill smiled and showed more fang to Eric.

"Feed from her."

Bill loosened his grip and let Eric up. Eric was bleeding from the fight; his eye appeared to be puffing up and blackening. "I concede," Eric said, as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

He got up and pushed passed Sookie and walked away.

~*~

When Sookie entered the bedroom, she was shocked by the sight of all the blood. There were droplets trailing from the door to the bed, and the sheets were absorping all that Eric's body could not, would not, hold. She couldn't help the gasp that fell from her lips. "You stubborn ass," she said, rushing over to the bed. "You're bleeding."

"I cannot seem to heal," he admitted. Eric lifted his head weakly. "I didn't want to hurt you," he insisted.

"Well, that'll work out great if you die," Sookie snapped, pulling off her dress, bra and panties. She was frankly sick and tired of losing her favorite dresses and undergarments to blood. She sat next to Eric on the bed. In theory, she understood that he bit her and fed. But, she wasn't sure if there was more to it in this situation or not. "What do I need to do?"

Eric hesitated for a long moment. Then, he held out his hand and said, "Wrist," his voice was barely a whisper. Sookie bit her wrist and then pressed it to Eric's lips. He suckled genlty, at first, then with more power.

Sookie watched in rapt fascination as the silver hairs on Eric's head took on a blond hue, as the deepened crow's feet flattened as though some inviible iron had crossed his skin, as his skin took on as much color as it would get, given that he was already dead, and, finally, she watched that sparkle return to his eyes. She pulled her wrist away, beginning to feel weak. "Enough," she said. "If you need more later, you can. I feel a bit dizzy," she admitted.

He nodded in understanding. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. But, you're also too stubborn for your own good." Sookie laid down on the bed, pressing her body against Eric's.

Eric snorted. "I'm not the only one here who's stubborn."

Sookie glared. "I have a confession to make," she said, biting her bottom lip.

Eric quirked an eyebrow. "Really?"

Sookie nodded her head. "I can control it. It was purposefully throwing Bill across the room."

"Did you do the same to me?"

"I didn't realize how badly it was hurting you until Bill pointed out that you looked," she paused, "distingusihed."

Eric narrowed his eyes and bared his fangs. "That was a dangerous game you were playing."

"I know. But, I thought it would be best to keep trying."

Then Eric smiled. "It was sastisfying to watch him fly across the room." But, then Eric used his newfound strength to maneuver Sookie so that she was straddling him. "But, not nearly as satisfying as some other things we do." He lifted his hips suggestively, pressing his hardness into the soft flesh of her inner thigh, teasing her.

"Eric," Sookie calls his name as though she is praying, it's full of reverence and need and want - the same want that had driven her to nearly suck humans dry.

Eric reaches between them and positions himself so he can enter Sookie easily, in one fluid motion that makes her gasp and buck her hips toward him. He grins, "Like that, do you?"

Sookie could only muster a throaty groan, that Eric took to mean "Oh, hell yes, you great, Viking sex God," not least of all because it made him feel powerful, and in control in a moment when he felt weak and vulnerable.

Eric moved in and out of Sookie, pulling at her flesh, sinking his fangs into her neck, taking one sweet mouthful of her blood before licking the wound closed when she whimpered, "Too soon," while she gently pulled her neck away as she pushed her body downward to meet his thrust. She kissed him. It was gentle and urgent and made her feel the weight of his loss on her shoulders.

Sookie began to shed bloody tears. They dripped on to his cheek, the cool wetness absorbing into his flesh.

Eric still moved slowly, trying to bring them to a shared release, as he cupped her chin in his hand. "Don't cry," he whispered, kissing her tears, then licking his lips.

"I almost lost you," she whispered.

Eric began to thrust with purpose and urgency. "I'm not going anywhere."

Sookie lost herself in the rhythm of their bodies gliding over one another at a steady, urgent pace. There was no past or future, only the now - the now where they were closer to each other as two people could be. She was him and he was her and she wasn't sure where he ended and she began; they were part of each other forever, an infinite loop of Eric and Sookie.

~*~

Sookie did not move from the bed when they had finished with their love making. She tangled her limbs in his and ran her fingers thorough the long, tangled locks of his hair, while she listened to the silence of their bodies echo into their shared dayroom.

She missed the sound of her beating heart and labored breath in the aftermath of such a display of exuberence. Her chest still rose and fell with steady, even breaths - but, it wasn't the same.

Eric traced a hand over her hip. "What's wrong?"

Sookie shook her head. "Nothing. Things just change."

Eric pulled her closer to him and placed a whisper light kiss on her temple. He sighed. "You realize, I'm going to have to hurt Bill. He made me look a fool," he said, changing the subject.

"You could just let it go," Sookie suggested. Though, Eric could feel though the bond that there was no expectation that he would simply allow Bill Compton to best him; especially not in such a public forum.

"I could. But, I won't," Eric said, with a tone of finality. "You need to learn that lesson, lover."

Sookie laughed. "How to win a pissing contest? I don't really think it's necessary for a lady to learn those lessons, Eric. Vampire or not, I'm still a darling."

"No," he said, seriously, "the lesson of protecting your pride at all costs. If you ever manage to look weak, it could spell your final death."

~*~

When Eric awakened, he was surprised to see Sookie staring at him from the foot of the bed. It wasn't something new, per se, but it was something new for her vampire existence. "You rose before me" he said, perplexed.

Sookie nodded. "I think I was up before the sun fully set. But, I'm not sure, since there aren't any windows in here."

He thought it was strange; but, it could have been an after effect of the blood sharing they had engaged in since she had transformed. He would surely keep an eye on it; but, they had worse things to worry about than Sookie gaining strength. In fact, gaining strength was good for her. "Pam will be here soon. She has more information about the bombing."

Sookie headed for the bathroom with lightening speed, turned out the shower and returned before Eric had finished stretching. "Oh?" she asked. "Does that mean a visit with Victor will happen sooner rather than later?"

Eric nodded. "Unfortunately."

Sookie shrugged. "Well, he won't be able to work his voodoo," she said, smiling. "I can take him."

"Let's hope for both our sakes, you don't have to. Those two plotted with the Fellowship in order to ruin my bar and most likely kill us all. They're not to be trifled with."

"I know." Sookie sighed. "I had always imagined that if I was ever turned, it would mean that I would get a rest from this."

Eric snorted. "A rest? Now that you need no rest, there is nothing in your future but vampire politics."

~*~

Sookie was surprised to see that Pam had dragged Elliot into Eric's study by the scruff of his neck. The young vampire was a bleeding mess, and he looked to be in a world of pain. His legs could barely move in time with Pam's fierce dragging motion. And he sighed with relief, all though Sookie imagined that relieve would be very short lived, indeed, when Pam dumped her child at her maker's feet. "Eric," she said, smiling.

Eric looked from the crumbled heap of vampire at his feet to his child, a question dancing in his eyes.

Pam kicked her child. "He's working with them."

Eric growled. There was no need to ask who she meant by them, it was clear that it was Felipe, Victor and the Fellowship. "You're sure?"

Pam glared at her maker. "Do you think I would have brought this," she kicked Elliot again, "lump to you if I wasn't sure, Eric?" Eric glared at her and Pam rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure."

Eric beckoned for Sookie to come closer. "Even though, I am certain that Pam is telling the truth," he said, looking at Pam and not Sookie. "I want you to read his mind, see what you can get. I don't want to cause him anymore harm if he managed to successfully lie to Pam."

Elliot looked up at Eric and muttered something that resembled, "Thank you." But, Eric's response was to push him over onto his back with his foot and rest a heavy, booted foot on Elliot's throat. "Do not think for a second that I doubt my child. I simply have no desire to be punished by the Magister for whatever I decided to do with you when Sookie confirms you're lying."

"I don't even know who those two guys she keeps talking about are," Elliot protested.

Eric gestured for Sookie to get to work. "I can't read him if he's like that. Either put him in a chair or hold him up. I need him relaxed."

Pam walked over to her child. "Stand," she said, pulling him up by his hair before he had a chance to make his legs work. She surveyed the room. "He's too disgusting to allow to sit on any of this furniture Eric. I think we should take him downstairs; there are so many other bloodstains that we won't notice his. Plus," she shrugged, "it's a real bitch to get vampire out of upholstery."

"Take him downstairs, then."

~*~

Sookie waited the specified amount of time before daring to descend into the basement. It seemed that Eric and Pam wanted to have a little bit of fun with Elliot before they let her have a crack at him. Part of Sookie was very disappointed, she wanted to see what it meant for a vampire to torture another vampire. She'd been reading about effective torture techniques in the dusty books Eric had given her to read, and while most if it was admittedly, gross, she couldn't help but be curious. Then, there was a larger part of her that was glad that she wouldn't actually have to witness Eric as a savage monster. She knew the day would come, but she wasn't sure she was ready to fully accept this new part of her nature, the savage side that demanded blood in the heat of battle.

It was with this thought in mind, that Sookie descended the stairs, one cement step at a time. She could hear, very clearly, the sounds of the interrogation below. Right now, if Sookie had to guess, she would say that Pam and Eric and progressed from simple questions and drawing blood to sizzling vampire skin with silver, if the stench was any indication. The feral growl coming from Elliot only confirmed her suspicions.

"Eric, is that really necessary?" she asked as she stepped into the dark room. She could see perfectly, though, which weirded her out, for a second. Eric was wearing heavy, leather gloves and pressing a large piece of silver, which looked to be a piece of cutlery, into Elliot's cheek.

"Sookie," Pam said, "it may not be entirely necessary, but it's fun."

"Pam," Eric snapped. He looked up from his task of inflicting pain and turned toward Sookie. "He grabbed the chain and hit me with it. This, will teach him to respect his betters." He then looked pointedly at Elliot, "Who knows, learning this lesson quickly might even save his life."

Sookie arched an eyebrow. "I think its worse that you're letting him think there is a chance he's actually going to live through this." She walked up to Eric and placed her hand on top of his gloved hand. "I'm not going to be able to hear anything but yelling if you don't pull your hand away. He needs to heal. He needs to be calm. Otherwise, this won't work."

Eric pressed the spoon into Elliot's face with great force, eliciting a strangled cry that seemed to be ripped from the vampire's body, before he pulled the metal away from the melting flesh. There was a gooey string of skin and mucous membrane and stuff Sookie was sure she learned the names for in high school biology class. She wrinkled her nose at the sight. Eric tossed the spoon to the ground with a clattering sound. "He's yours, lover."

Sookie surveyed Elliot. His face wasn't healing. "He needs some blood. Just enough to take the edge of pain off, Eric."

Pam produced a bottle of cold TrueBlood from somewhere and put it into Sookie's hands. Sookie figured she must have been wearing a perplexed expression because Pam explained: "We're not savages, Sookie. There is a delicate art to torture. Let this be your first lesson."

Sookie nodded. She twisted the cap from the bottle and pressed it to Elliot's lips. She tipped it up until the blood poured out. Elliot kept his lips pressed closed at first, but, then his hunger seemed to get the better of him and he started to swallow back the synthetic blood. While he was drinking, Sookie turned to Eric, "I need a chair." She was going to ask if the silver chains were necessary, but then she remembered how Elliot had attacked Eric and she really had no desire to experience burning flesh again, and especially so soon after her ordeal. And to think that Elliot might be responsible.

Eric brought a folding chair over to Sookie, opened it and set it down. He tapped her behind the knees with it and she sat down. "Thanks," she said. Then, she turned all of her attention to Elliot. She grabbed his blood sticky hands in her own. "Look at me," she said. Her voice was level. "We all know that you're not walking out of here alive. The only choice you get now is whether your death is slow and painful or quick and merciful."

"I didn't do anything," Elliot said. "I don't even know a Felipe or a Victor."

She can't read my mind. They said so. The only reason she can read Eric's mind is because he's her Maker and they have a blood bond.

Sookie smiled. "Who are they, Elliot? I can only help you die without pain."

She can't know they sent me here, planted me as a spy. I willingly volunteered to be changed; there's nothing for me now, and there wasn't then.

"They sent him when you were looking for humans to feed me," Sookie said. "He volunteered."

"Pam, command him to tell the truth," Eric said.

"I already tried that, Eric. He just keeps repeating that he doesn't know Felipe or Victor."

"Try again," Eric commanded.

"As you maker, I command you to tell the truth, Elliot," Pam said. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her child.

Sookie could feel some sort of force wash over Elliot; it was strange to feel the bond between another pair that felt so similar to the one she shared with Eric. It was then, that she assumed Pam had been asking the wrong questions; but then, she had her mind made up as to who the culprits were.

Sookie squeezed Elliot's hand. "Who sent you?"

Elliot clamped his mouth shut. Don't think about the Fellowship. Steve won't be happy if you betray that he's been working with vampires - scary vampires. Sookie saw a flash of Felipe feeding from Elliot; Elliot had screamed with the agonizing pain for the duration of the feeding. Then, Sookie felt the tell-tale wall of a glamour.

Sookie released Elliot's hands and turned to Eric. "He was part of the Fellowship. He was sent to make an example. Newlin's still pissed that I got away, and about Jason. And, well, Felipe and Victor want you out of the way. Felipe fed from him, then glamored him."

Eric gave a slight nod. "You should leave, Sookie," he said. His voice brooked no argument.

Sookie gave Elliot one last look; she found it difficult to feel sorry for him. She had wasted all of that time feeling sorry for him because of what she had been forced to do -- and, in the end, he was responsible for making her live a life she never wanted. There had been a time when she would have begged for Elliot. But, that was when she was human and she could see the end of the vampire bullshit in her life.

Now, it was her eternity, and she couldn't afford to allow any wounds to fester. The only way to rid herself of the problems that would be born of this in the future was to let Eric and Pam do what they must.

"All right. I'll be upstairs," she said. She could feel Eric's bloodlust rising through the bond, and it made her want to leap on Elliot herself.

But, Sookie pushed past the feelings of desire and made herself trudge up the stairs, one foot at a time. It wasn't until she closed the door that she heard Elliot's pleas. But, they were useless.

~*~

When Sookie went upstaris, she found Bill sitting in the living room with a bottle of Royalty on the coffee table and four empty glasses. "Hi Bill," she said.

He gestured to the empty seat across from his. "Sit down. Eric and Pam will be a while."

Pam nodded and sat down next to Bill. He split the bottle of Royalty between the four glasses he had on the table. "I've had this for quite some time. I was saving it for ," his voice hitched and he stopped speaking. "I was saving it for a special occasion. And it seems to me your turning is a special occasion."

Sookie took the proffered blood. She could feel the warmth of the liquid through the glass. The scent of it reached her nose and she started to salivate. Her fangs extended on their own, and she bowed her head sheepishly. "Will I ever be able to control them?" she asked, speaking around the protrusions in her mouth.

Bill laughed gently. "In time," he said, taking a sip of his own blood. "This is very rich blood; English royalty - the major ones. This blood is from Princes William and Harry themselves. They gave enough for six bottles over the course of as many months. It cost me a great deal of money; but, it was all worth it."

Sookie sipped her blood as well. "It's delicious," she said. "But, any blood is delicious to me. I think this may have been wasted on me."

Bill shook his head. "No, it's not wasted. Nothing is ever wasted on you."

Sookie wasn't sure what to say, so she sipped at her blood to fill the silence. "Eric's very upset that you beat him. There's going to be retaliation."

Bill shrugged. "I expected nothing less. When he's ready, I'll allow him to do what he feels needs doing."

Sookie was ready to make a comment about the stupid antics of men when Eric arrived. "Bill," he said, shortly. "I thought you would have left by now."

Bill shook his head. "I brought a peace offering of sorts," Bill said, picking up a glass of Royalty and handing it to Eric.

Eric sniffed at it. "Young royals," he said, smiling. "I have three bottles of this myself."

Sookie wasn't sure if he was lying or not, but it pleased Eric to see Bill's feathers ruffled at the admission.

Eric sat down on the arm of Sookie's chair and drank his blood slowly, savoring every drop. The room remained silent as Pam entered and took her glass from Bill.

No one mentioned Elliot, or the trouble he had caused. Instead, they focused on the silence, every vampire mind trying to sort out the value of the knowledge they had gathered and just what it was they would have to do to secure their safety.

 

TBC .... 

A.N. Feedback/Reviews/Comments are never required; but, they are always appreciated. Thanks for reading.


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